


An Idiot's Guide to Falling in Love With the Man of Your Dreams

by hannihoneybee



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Hockey, Fluff, I don't know anything about hockey but I read omgcp, Idiots in Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, love detectives fall in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27386686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannihoneybee/pseuds/hannihoneybee
Summary: Lee Chan thought college would be about discovering his passions, playing hockey, and pulling all-nighters with his roommate. He did not expect the burden of being the only braincell activated on the men's hockey team or to be the only one to realize Kim Mingyu and Yoon Jeonghan are disgustingly, obliviously in love.But here he is anyway, hiding in a bush, facilitating the perfect feelings realization moment for his hyungs.Love Wins?!
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Lee Chan | Dino, Kim Mingyu/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	An Idiot's Guide to Falling in Love With the Man of Your Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> the hockey au is finally published. yajun's first chaptered work: commences.
> 
> major thanks to [nikki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/capricornia/pseuds/capricornia) and [ji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonshushushu/pseuds/wonshushushu) for reading this over and being my beta fish <3
> 
> this is technically in the same universe as [Three Michelin Stars, Kim Hongjoong!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21713230) but you don't need to read that to read this.

Lee Chan’s hockey hyungs are _weird._ There isn’t really an argument against the observation considering his try out for the school hockey team had been less of an actual showcase of his skills on ice as much as it was a shouting match between Soonyoung and Jeonghan about who was going to adopt him first. He’s still haunted by the way the angelic-looking forward had rushed and tackled the goalie to the ground, screaming about how he didn’t spend three years cleaning up vomit in the shared dorms to not have dibs on the cute first year. 

However, as weird as his hyungs usually are, this is on a whole new level of strange. Chan is frankly very concerned. He had, tragically, decided to come to practice early in hopes of asking Minghao to show him the cool new move he learned over break but instead is greeted with the sight of Kim Mingyu staring down at his phone making high pitched noises. If Chan doesn’t know any better, he’d think the upperclassman is dying of a stroke. Like a majority of the human race, Chan once assumed Mingyu would be as cool and chic as his visuals. However, the puppy-like pre-med student is more likely to trip over thin air than maintain an air of mystery, and this incident only adds to Chan’s ongoing theory that Mingyu is an alien. The strange noises aside, it is what comes out of his mouth that sends Chan reeling.

_I like you._

A confession? To his phone? Chan remembers that Greek myth about the man who falls in love with a statue, but he really thought more of his hyungs than to fall into such a funk. Are the double practices leaving Mingyu so lonely he has no one to turn to? He’ll never know, considering he flees the scene after gasping and making direct eye contact with the perpetrator in question. 

“I think Mingyu’s lost his mind,” he states.

No one responds to the statement, although to be fair there are only two other people present, and one of them is a firmly asleep Junhui. Chan tries again.

“Hyung, I think Mingyu’s lost his mind.”

Wonwoo looks up from where he’s perched on top of the rink barrier, looking like a disgruntled cat at the interruption from his book. “What did you say, Channie?”

“I think he would have kissed the phone.”

“Are you watching those weird youtube videos again? I thought Seungcheol hyung got Soonyoung to stop sending you those.”

“No—”

“You should just block him.”

“Hyung!” Chan punches Wonwoo in the arm, although it’s about as effective as a kitten’s tap considering Chan doesn’t want to injure him, and his arms are still weak from conditioning the night before. “You’re not listening to me.”

He’s about to retell the story when he hears the sound of 80 kg of defense player trip over the steps leading from the changing room to the rink. Mingyu squints over to where Chan and Wonwoo are before shuffling his way over. If he didn’t know any better, Chan would feel apprehensive about a confrontation, but he isn’t sure what can happen in a conversation that will surprise him more than The Incident. 

“Chan,” Mingyu says, “can we talk? Alone?”

Chan glances over at Wonwoo, wondering if he could convince him to save him, but he’s already back to reading his book, this time with a lollipop clacking between his teeth. Traitor.

Mingyu takes his silence as affirmation and grabs his wrist to take him back to the changing room. The two waddle in their skates across the rink, barely missing Junhui’s sleeping, slouching body in the bleachers. From where he’s walking, Chan can clearly see a red blush rise up the back of Mingyu’s neck and color his ears. He’d take the opportunity to tease him if he didn’t already know Mingyu was infuriatingly handsome even when blushing in embarrassment, a trait Chan wishes he himself had rather than the splotchy Picasso blush he is prone to exhibit. 

“So about what you heard—”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

“Huh?”

Chan stares Mingyu down. He’s never been a good liar, considering the number of times his mom and Jeonghan have caught him in the midst of sneaking unhealthy snacks under his bed, but Mingyu is a gullible manchild. “I said I didn’t hear anything; I was just surprised to see you be early.”

“Oh. Okay. Um. Great.”

The two of them stand in awkward silence for a moment longer. Mingyu’s weirdly large hand is still wrapped tightly around his wrist. 

“Can I go now?”

“Oh! Yeah! Definitely. Um...see you at practice later.” Mingyu scurries away, leaving Chan to blink in confusion at the skates still tied around his feet before deciding it’s not worth getting into. He waddles his way back to where Wonwoo is, who is still clacking a lollipop and reading some classic novel.

Chan lifts himself up to sit next to his hyung, staring off into the empty ice for a long moment before turning. “Hyung, am I being punished for stealing Seungkwan’s french fries last week?”

* * *

If Chan thought he could escape the increase in strangeness in his hyungs, he was wrong. Two weeks after the Mingyu Incident, which Chan and Mingyu refuse to acknowledge happened and Wonwoo probably forgot about, he has the great misfortune of walking in on a truly worrying sight: Yoon Jeonghan, team vice-captain and self-proclaimed trickster god, speaking in a sugary sweet aegyo. 

Maybe he _is_ being punished for stealing Seungkwan’s fries. 

Chan stands in the doorway of the upperclassmen’s shared apartment living room as Jeonghan continues to do three sets of aegyo with varying hand gestures to absolutely no one. He’s just standing in the middle of the living room, staring at the empty space in front of him, voice rising in pitch with every word. Chan feels his mind melt and jaw drop as Jeonghan raises his voice to a tone he never knew he could reach to ask if _he’ll buy him a cheeseburger please Mingyu?_

It’s at this point Chan realizes he is a little bit too enthralled in this showy act of (love? obsession? friendship?) affection that oozes out of his playful hyung. Jeonghan is making serious heart eyes and looks about two seconds away from breaking out into the yam yam song—something Chan definitely doesn’t want to see. 

Chan makes an abrupt turn to leave when he about-faces right into a chest. It’s Dongho hyung, the graduate student who used to play on the hockey team but now manages them for extra cash ( _because grad school is a death trap, Channie, and hyung is dying)._ There is a brief pause before Chan screams in surprise, causing both Dongho and Jeonghan to flinch. The latter pales at the sight of the two of them, leaving Chan to awkwardly wave.

“How long have you two been standing there?”

“Not long,” Chan replies, absolutely calm and collected. Nailed it. 

“Since you started singing oppa-yah,” Dongho responds. 

God. Let them all die here. 

* * *

Jeonghan touches everyone’s butt. At this point, it’s become accepted that his favored form of skinship is a quick, solid ass slap. It had definitely taken Chan by surprise the first time he saw his vice-captain smack someone’s ass after a goal. (To be fair, it was much more of a shock that Joshua Hong, the international student Chan had initially thought was quiet and normal, accepted the ass slap with a serene smile before slapping Jeonghan’s ass with as much, if not more, rigor in response.) On the bright side, Jeonghan had taken the time to ask for Chan’s consent before he initiated him into the ass-slapping celebration circle. 

Never let it be said Jeonghan hyung isn’t a good hyung. Oppa-yah aside. 

However, what is happening before Chan’s eyes is _not_ a friendly congratulatory ass slap between bros. No, this is an ass fondle. Chan has seen this before in mature films and when his cousin Jonghyun’s boyfriend Minki was invited to family Thanksgiving last year. 

It makes Chan feel like contacting the proper authorities. _Wee woo wee woo you disgusting farts, you’re going to horny prison._

The smart thing to do is leave. Or scream. Unfortunately, whatever higher power in control of Lee Chan’s life has decided to make him _suffer,_ so he’s left watching Jeonghan fondle Mingyu’s ass as Mingyu lets out a series of frankly emotionally scarring pants until the two of them spot him in the doorway.

“Chan!”

Chan just brings his hands up to his eyes. “Hyung, I’m not consenting to that next time I score a point.”

* * *

The revelation comes like this: Chan is making his way downtown with his friends (Yes! He does have friends outside of the hockey team, contrary to what his mom thinks!) for lunch when he spots two familiar heads of hair sitting far too close together to be platonic in a cafe. He pauses in his window gazing and obligatory ooh-ing and aah-ing over all the storefronts Yunho keeps admiring but not wanting to go into to drag his friends into the cafe. It’s cute and cozy, and the decor seems to be inspired by a cartoon hippo named Moomin. 

“Hi, can I help you?” The pretty cashier smiles gently at the incoming group. Chan has to take a moment to blink away his initial distraction of seeing a Brand New Pretty Boy to focus on the real target: Kim Mingyu and Yoon Jeonghan sharing a slice of chocolate cake. As Chan develops a battle plan to address the situation, Yunho sighs and orders sandwiches and iced coffees for all of them. Yehana drags him over to a table when it becomes apparent he isn’t moving from where he’s stationed in the middle of the cafe.

“What are you doing?” Yehana waves a hand in front of his face as they seat themselves in the corner of the shop. Amazing. Even without knowing, Yehana never fails to disappoint and chose a prime spying spot for them to enjoy their lunch and find out what Chan’s wayward hyungs are up to. 

“Yehana, do those two look too close to you?”

Yehana follows Chan’s direction to the two hockey players so close they’re practically nuzzling. Horrifying. All Chan can think of is Jeonghan’s high pitched aegyo. 

_Mingyu-yah, hyungie wants a cheeseburger! Chee! Se! Bur! Ger!_

He shudders just remembering it. Jeonghan is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful people Chan ever met (and Chan’s met a lot of people, including a brief but holy encounter with God Taemin Himself), but the sickly-sweet aegyo makes his stomach twist. Yehana, in turn, just turns back to Chan with a blank stare.

“If you’re going to try to pick one of them up, I’m already telling you not to do it.”

“What?” Chan is horrified by Yehana’s accusation. “Yehana, those are my hockey hyungs. I can’t pick them up.” To do so would ruin the sanctity of the hockey team bro bond. The Brond. Soonyoung keeps mentioning it whenever he tries to press a congratulatory kiss to Chan’s cheek. 

“I’m just saying, ever since you discovered the magic of getting d—”

“I got sandwiches!” Thank God for Yunho. Chan stares up at his absurdly tall roommate with grateful, happy eyes. Whoever it was in the housing admin who placed the two of them together was smiling down on Chan that day, even if Yunho has a habit of screaming into his pillow when he’s frustrated. It isn’t that bad of a habit. Chan can relate. 

As Chan attempts to shove a sandwich into both his and Yehana’s mouth to prevent her from ever finishing her unholy sentence, Yunho tells them about how one of his high school friends finally got a boyfriend but is suffering from terrible cooking.

“I guess it makes sense; Seonghwa hyung is too pretty to not have flaws like that.”

Chan thinks Yunho has to be exaggerating the ridiculousness of his best friend’s new boyfriend’s inability to make edible food (is it even possible to make crunchy mochi???), but Yunho’s honest to a fault, and Chan is a bit horrified imagining what Hongjoong must be going through. 

Yunho continues listing all the different foods that were destroyed by his friend’s absurdly pretty boyfriend, and Chan slowly tunes it out as he zeroes in on the most shocking thing he’s ever seen since Hyena was pushed off the tower in Sky Castle: Yoon Jeonghan _feeding_ Kim Mingyu a bite of chocolate cake _from his own fork!_ That he had used! Just before! And licked clean! 

_An indirect kiss!_

Jeonghan never shares food with anyone! Once during a road trip to an away game, he let Seokmin and Soonyoung duke it out for a cinnamon roll only to eat it in front of their betrayed little faces when they were done playing their convoluted version of Yu-gi-oh. But here he is, not only sharing a cake but also feeding bites of it to Mingyu instead of hoarding them all in his little gremlin mouth like he always does whenever the team orders dessert. 

Chan’s mouth drops open mid-chew of his ham and cheese sandwich, watching in unblinking horror as Mingyu leans forward and takes the bite of cake, slowly cleaning the fork of chocolate frosting. He can distantly hear Yehana calling him gross and feel Yunho’s big, warm hand close his mouth. 

_Oh my God._

The one-sided staring contest he had initiated with his hockey hyungs is temporarily broken by Yehana’s hand in his face, waving frantically as she glares at him. 

“Yah, Lee Chan. Pay attention to your friends and stop thirsting over your upperclassmen.”

Chan sputters, face turning bright red as he glares back at his traitorous friend. “I’m not thirsting!” 

The twin looks of judgemental disbelief on Yehana and Yunho’s faces offend him. They wouldn’t understand. Chan has moved _past_ his phase of thirsting over every pretty boy he had come across. That was old Chan. First semester Chan. Second semester Chan knows better. He has standards, tastes, priori—

**_Yoon Jeonghan cupping Mingyu’s face._ **

Is this what having a stroke is like? 

Is he dying? 

He’s too young to die. What would his gravestone even look like? Here lies Lee Chan: Died because of the GaysTM. All his worldly possessions can go to Yunho and not Yehana. 

He leans forward, palms pressed against the table, as he watches as Jeonghan, evil gremlin vice-captain Jeonghan who once made Soonyoung and Seokmin kneel outside his apartment building with their arms in the air because they breathed too closely to his shirtless Oh Sehun poster, gently stroke Mingyu’s cheeks with unbridled affection as he wipes chocolate frosting from the corner of his mouth.

_Like a LOVER._

He can’t believe it. He can distantly hear Yehana sigh and say, “God, we’ve lost him” as Yunho loudly chews on his bacon sandwich.

In the back of an overpriced hippo-themed cafe, Lee Chan realizes: Kim Mingyu and Yoon Jeonghan are In Love. 

* * *

Like all good scientists, Lee Chan requires his findings to be peer-reviewed. None of his non-hockey friends could understand the sheer impact of an ass fondle versus an ass slap, so Chan requires hockey-experienced intellectual insight. He has tried to get Minghao, by far the most level-headed of his hyungs, but he’s busy with a class project and making sure Junhui doesn’t fall asleep in a bush again. 

So he approaches Wonwoo.

He finds Wonwoo in line at the dining hall. Wonwoo’s lips are pressed into a thin line as he considers whether he should eat macaroni and cheese or french fries. Chan sneaks over, peering around to make sure no wayward hockey players or any members of Wonwoo’s terrifyingly beautiful but equally serious book club are around to steal his attention. 

“Wonwoo hyung—”

“Mmmm. Chan, give me a minute.” Wonwoo leans in to stare more determinedly at the food options. “I need to make a decision.” Wonwoo looks legitimately frustrated, dark eyebrows pinching together into a v formation. He still looks absurdly handsome. “I need to choose what to eat for lunch.”

“Hyung, you love macaroni and cheese.” It’s true. The first time Junhui figured out how to make macaroni and cheese, Wonwoo cried as he shoved spoonfuls of hot cheese noodle into his mouth. Apparently, on Wonwoo’s birthday, Seungcheol couldn’t figure out what menu to order and ended up buying fifty boxes of ninety-nine cent instant mac and cheese. 

Wonwoo still recalls it as the best birthday he’s ever had. 

“My mom said I should stop eating dairy.”

“Hyung.” Chan takes a moment to close his eyes and take a deep breath. “Just—”

“Apparently I’m lactose-intolerant, but I want to become 10% cheese.”

_What?_

Chan has to pinch himself to stop the laughter that rumbles in his chest. Wonwoo is so smart, Chan often forgets how he is also a strange hyung. The number of times Chan could find him with his nose buried in a book made him forget he also has strange nonsense bumping around in his brain like a Windows screensaver icon. 

“Then eat the cheese noodles, hyung.”

“But—”

Chan reaches out and places the plate of macaroni on Wonwoo’s plate, pushing the older boy along the line as he lets out a strangled, offended noise.

“Lee Chan!”

“Yes. I’m Lee Chan. Just take a Lactaid. Hyung, I have a real problem I need to discuss with you.”

“Is it—”

“It isn’t Soonyoung hyung. We have a case of love on the team,” Chan interrupts seriously. He takes Wonwoo’s pause as the opportunity to tug him towards a nearby empty table, scooting into the seat opposite the bespeckled upperclassman.

Wonwoo stares at him before laughing.

“Hyung! I’m being serious!”

Wonwoo continues laughing, rocking back and forth in his chair for a long moment until he decides to collect himself. He clears his throat and adjusts his glasses. “Channie, I think everyone knows about Vernon and Seungkwan.”

_Vernon and Seungkwan???_ Another case for him to inspect, although it seems to be common knowledge to everyone but him. He had thought Seungkwan was dating the tall, buff dancer he was constantly eating snacks with, although this news of love between the two sophomores does explain all the times Chan spotted Vernon being a little bit too invested in Seungkwan’s attempts to twerk to Beyonce. 

“Hyung, that’s not who I’m talking about. Mingyu hyung and Jeonghan hyung are in love. They’ve been flirting non-stop for weeks now.”

“Really?”

“Don’t you remember the ass fondle?”

“Jeonghan always slaps our butts.”

Chan is slightly disappointed in his handsome hyung’s lack of observation skills, but he supposes it’s only one example. 

“Hyung, he was making love to Mingyu’s butt with his hand. It was intense. I thought it needed an R-rating.”

Wonwoo takes a bite out of his macaroni and chews as he considers this new information, looking very much like a scholar with his dark hair and wire-rim glasses. He seems to take it seriously at least. If nothing else, Chan can count on Wonwoo to always take him seriously, unlike Jeonghan or Joshua who like to tease him and call him _aegi._ He is nineteen! He is no longer a baby!

“I’d say it’s commonplace for them, but you seem pretty concerned.”

“Hyung, _we_ don’t fondle each other’s butts!”

Wonwoo turns pink at the implication. Wonwoo’s butt is one of the few butts Jeonghan never gives a congratulatory slap. Jeonghan has always opted for a high five or when Wonwoo once made a truly incredible shot, a running and jumping tackle hug that took them both down. 

“That’s different, Channie. I don’t want to touch your butt. Unless you want me to.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing! Anyways,” Wonwoo coughs, “do you have any proof other than the butt-touching?”

Chan’s eyes glaze over as he remembers the cake sharing (an indirect kiss!!), Jeonghan’s aegyo shenanigans, and Mingyu’s confession to an iPhone. “Oh hyung, I think I should get you a second plate of noodles for this. It’s a whole story.”

Wonwoo smiles, eyes fond. “Okay, Channie. Hit me with it.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed! let me know what you think!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/bloominghannie)


End file.
